Konsultasi: Problematika dengan suami Part 2

[bebechan]

@Hidden Content maap mak baru buka thread lg
Aku dari awal mau nikah dan resign udah bilang kalauu kebutuhan ku xxx juta. Itu aku dapet dari gaji. Nah kamu bisa enggak menuhin segitu... Jujur jujur an aja.
Kamu jujur ajaaa juga sama suami kamu masih ada utang seginiii . Gimana enaknya? Besok gimana kalau aku gak kerja? Kebutuhan anak segini?😁
Nah biar suami mu juga mikirrr😁biarr dia yang mikir.
Dan kalian sama sama nyaman n bahagia.


Dulu pas masa pacaran mw serius ak bodo amat aku blak blakan ajaa soal keuangann.. Di bilang matre yo wess gpp. Suamiku ngerti karna diaaa yang minta aku resign. 😁

@Hidden Content n @Hidden Content ..semoga saran mak mak disini bisa menambah ketegaran kalian ya. 😭🙏🙏🙏
Kalian tau apa yang terbaik. Jangan mendzolini diri sendiri . Kita emang boleh sedih kecewa tapi kita punya hak bt bahagia n damai😭

@Hidden Content . Sabaaarrr yaaa makkk..Coba komunikasikan lagi sama suami.
Mungkin masalah komunikasi yang kurang lancar.
Ngomong aja kamu gak suak kalau dia terlalu irit. Cari solusi bareng2

[ishtar77]

@Hidden Content
Nggak usah nyetor duit aja ke rekening dia. Kalo kamu nggak nyetor masa dia mau maksa ngerampas ATM mu? Nggak lah kan.

Ngapain nyetor duit ke rekening suami sih padahal kebutuhan RT semua ditanggung ortu dia? Kalo pingin punya rekening bersama, kenapa nggak dibalik, rekening kamu yg dibikin rekening bersama? Jadi dia yg setor ke kamu. (Pake kata setor jadi berasa supir angkot ke juragan angkot, hehe).

Kayaknya masalah kalian sebenernya bukan masalah uang deh, tapi lebih ke masalah power yg tidak seimbang.

Kalo cuma mau jajan cilok 10rb, apa susahnya sih tinggal beli? Tinggal keluar, beli, bawa pulang, makan bareng. Nggak harus sampai merembet kemana2 kalo masalahnya cuma uang.

Kamu pengen maksi di luar ya lakuin aja. Ngapain harus nurutin dia. Toh duitnya kamu sendiri yg nyari. Gajimu cukup kan sebenernya buat kebutuhanmu sendiri? Ya udah pake aja buat diri sendiri, nggak usah disetor ke rekening suami. Biaya RT kan gratis. Jajan weekend masih dijajanin suami.

Yg bikin ngeselin kan kamu yg nyari duit, tapi kamu nggak bisa nikmatin duitnya. Pertanyaanku, kenapa kamu mau2nya duitmu diatur suami padahal bukan untuk kebutuhan pokok RT (misalnya punya cicilan rumah masih wajar bayarnya patungan)? Kenapa kamu bisa powerless banget terhadap suami? Dia bisa ngatur kamu segitunya, tapi kamu sama sekali nggak punya power apa2 terhadap dia. Hubungan yg berat sebelah itu pasti ada pihak yg makan hati. Kalo unbalanced powernya nggak dibenerin, pasti masalahnya makin menumpuk dan merembet kemana2.

[pezzy]

@Hidden Content aku sama kaya mak @Hidden Content bnun kok kayanya ini kaya power abusive gitu sih.. kesannya diatur banget gitu.. sampe pake alesan ntar pengeluaran kamu gak terkontrol.. lah dy sendiri kasi duit gak? jadi emosi gw bacanya hahaha.. ga paham aku kenapa sampe masalah jajan cilok 15rb aja kudu ijin ama suami..

[Lalapanda]

@Hidden Content : duh say itu fix ke arah pelit daripada cermat, kalo suami temen2 ku emang cermat sih misal kalau beli barang branded >10jt pasti bilang ngapain beli tas atau sepatu sampe jutaan. Tapi ga sampe makan cilok yg less than 20rb sampe ketakutan uang abis ,padahal kan kamu afa setor xxx juta (juta loh yaaa) dan kalian masih tinggal sama ortu yg notabene ga perlu bayar listrik dll.

Kamu bilang lah dengan tegas,ini uang kan kamu yg cari,ya suka2 lah kamu mau makan apa,ga usah tanya ke dia apa lagi minta ijin kalo cuma small thing kayak makan cilok.

Ibarat kamu sebenernya yang punya power lebih,kamu lebih berpanghasilan dari dia,musti nya kmu yg lebih dominan say.. duh sorry kalo ada salah kata tapi geregetan baca nya...

[lluvia]

Hidden Content
I'm not gonna discuss about your marriage problem, fam drama or whatever excuses you have..
we're gonna talk about you mentality and attitude.. that's the source of your problem.

Life is not about wanting.. it's about knowing what you want and choosing it.
and from the choices you made, that's the life you'll get.

pertanyaan gw ke bu2 yg lagi galau slalu sama:
"What is it that you want?"

but knowing what you want is only the first step.. because JUST WANTING NOT ENOUGH!
kita sendiri yg harus memilih dan menjalankan apa yg kita mau.

so here is it again as a reminder.. even tho I sound like a broken record.. writing the same things over and over again.. so be it..
I'm gonna repeat this AGAIN.. sampe pada muak and thn perhaps understand that our life and marriage is a choice..
the life and marriage you have now, was and is YOUR CHOICE!

banyak dr kita banyak "maunya"
mau succes, kaya, cantik.. mau kerjaan yg bagus, pasangan yg baik, rt yg harmonis etc..
and that's all good.. tapi sayangnya most ppl cuman tau "mau" doanq.. makanya yg mrk mauin ga pernah kesampean.

contoh:
klo kita mau kerjaan yg bagus, fulfilling, pay well etc.. kita yg harus pilih itu.
tapi banyak org pilih to stay in their old job, because it's safe, comfortzone.. takut ganti kerja krn susah, jauh etc..
so yg mrk kerjain dan dapetin cmn MIMPI doanq.

klo kita mau pasangan yg baik, mencintai, menghormati kita etc.. kita jg yg harus pilih itu.
tapi again banyak org pilih (stay) nikah with org yg tidak sprt itu.. because umur, anak, kel.. takut apa kata org, ga dapet pengganti etc..
so AGAIN.. yg mrk kerjain dan dapetin cmn MIMPI doanq.

mungkin penjelasan gw yg kacau dan org2 ga ngerti apa yg gw maksud.. ato mungkin mrk ngerti, but dont choose it.. krn 1001 excuses..
they know the theory but dont practice it.. if that's the case.. all I can say is: salah sndri.. you'll get exactly what you chose!

sama ky elu.. you still refuse to choose what you know and want!
cuman ngomong doanq.. cuman mau doanq.. cuman bermimpi doanq.. dan akhirnya ya cuman itu yg lu dapetin.

manusia itu emg makhluk aneh.. we are given soo much.. our capability, power and potential are, the sky is the limit lah.
malah ada yg bilang that we're made in the image of God.. He the almighty and powerful.. can you imagine that? wow right?!

but strangely and sadly, most of us dont have that amazing life.. where we reach the stars and live our dreams..
why is that? is not because we as human cant do it or not capable.. krn mskpn banyak yg ga bisa.. tapi yg bisa jg banyak loh..
what is the different between those ppl? the can and cannot.. the haves and the have not.. what the secret?

is it luck? is it takdir? different in talents and opportunity? their nature or nurture?
why is it that I'm happy and you are not? why is it that I've an wonderful marriage with an amazing man.. and you dont?

gw bukan nyombong atau merendahkan.. it's not the case "look what I have and you dont have.. nanana!"
I want to show that happiness and getting what you want.. is possible, for all of us!

I'm a nobody.. there's nothing special about me.. I didnt come form a great background.. even my fam is crazy Hidden Content
also I'm not especially smart, talented, beautiful or wealthy.. I'm as average or bellow average malah as anybody can be.

that's the facts about me.. my life and my background.. it's meehh blaahh lah..
but that doesnt make it true.. it doesnt make it, MY TRUTH!

my truth.. what I want, what I believe, what I have faith in, what I choose and what I practice is:
that I am great.. and greatness is in me.
that I am freaking amazing.. and that I have an amazing life Hidden Content

"Change your perception and you will change your reality."

I'm the person who I am today and where I am today.. because I chose it!
I didnt just wanted it.. I will it to happen.

there is no genie in a bottle that will grants our wishes.. but there is a more amazing "magic trick" that we all have and capable of doing..
and that is "FREE WILL"

we all have the capability to use our freedom and choose our own will.

my wants or will in life is to have a life that I can be proud of.. a life according to what I want to be and experience.

contoh:
when I was lill we didnt have much.. forget about buying milk, it was a good day if we could afford mie instan..
and I used to look at the happy and "fancy" ppl around me.. kids who get to drive around with their dad in the car (I didnt even had a dad).. going to mall, eating ice cream, having toys.. I still remember wanting a barbie so much.. but instead I get to played with paper dolls or tanah Hidden Content

not only soal finance we had it bad.. my mom was an expert at choosing the wrong guys to date or married.. huhuhu..
I've seen my shares of jerks and effed-up relationship.. dont get me wrong, my mom was and still is a great mother.. but she did have her flaws, she's just keeping making bad romantic decisions.. it's like she never learn.

I grew up with a lots of "wants".. I wanted to be like those happy beautiful ppl..
and I also knew what I dont want.. I dont want to be like my mom (klo soal romantic life)

so when I became older and able to decide my own way.. I chose what I want..
and start the adventure that is my life and the journey of my dreams.. and I'm still living that dreams Hidden Content

I dont care about my pitiful condition.. or feel like a victim that need a hero.. I am my own hero!
many are so entitled or merasa berhak to what others think, say or do about or for us.. ppl dont owe us sh*t
they got their own lives.. stop looking at others to somehow save us or give us what we want.

and kebalikannya jg sama.. we also dont owe them.. my life, my way.
I'm the star in my own movie.. this is the script I wrote.. you dont get a saying in this.. play along or I'll get someone else to play your role!

and this is NOT about memaksakan someone tuk memainkan peran yg kita mau..
we cannot make ppl do things.. or force them to be a certain way.. because that's what we want or think is right..
this's why so much drama are going on.. krn kita merasa berhak to "force" our will to others.. that's no good.

our will is ours and ours only.. it's our own right and responsibility... not others.

so no forcing each other ato memaksakan sesuatu.. sama ky kita jg mau dipaksa to do or be someone we are not..
it's simple really, this is what we called respect.. to honor each person individuality and will.

"Live and let live.. Do to others as you would have them do to you."

we dont have to be afraid if someone or someting doesnt go our way.. really, it's not about them..
what others do or are sebenernya doesnt affect us.. it will only affects us if we allow them.. if we choose to give them that power.

if someone or someting is wrong for us.. or not as we want.. simple, dont choose them!
it's about US choosing the right ppl and path for what we want.. not changing them.. we dont have that right.

and if someone doesnt fit the role.. no worries, you still got billions other to choose from..
why so many of us act like we dont have any other choice? WE HAVE MANY CHOICES!

why stay in a dead-end job.. if there's others jobs you can choose from?
why stay in an unhappy married with a partner that is all wrong from you.. while you can be with someone else yg lebih cocok?

what.. loyalty? commitment? love?
there is no honor in staying and suffering unnecessary.. that's just stupidity and cowardice.
and love.. complaining and hating your job, partner, marriage or life.. is that love?

I wanted a comfortable, independent and free life.. but for that, I need a good education.. so I worked and studied my asz off..
I wanted to experience love as I think it should be.. not the drama, suffering, sacrifices or settling down for less.. so I seek till I find it.. and I did.

believe me, I had 1001 good reasons or excuses to failed at what I achieve to do..
many thought the best of what the future had for me was getting married at 16 jadi istri ke empat for some a'hole di kampung Hidden Content

so if you want to compare who had it worst.. your self pity and victim mentality is nothing compare to what I can throw at you..
dont come to me with sad-stories or excuses.. difficulties are challenges to overcome.. not to use as pembenaran.

so again, despite all the crap I had to faced.. why is now my life and marriage so much better thn yours?
it luck? or because I had so much support and opportunities from my fam? Hidden Content

a nobody that came from nothing and got no one like me..
what's the difference between you and me?

did you failed because your fam yg ini itu lah.. did they failed you?
or because it is you who failed yourself?

I came from the bottom of the foodchain in this world.. I could have chosen to stay there and believe that this the best life has to offer me..
or I could chose to believe: "Hey, there is only one way for me to go.. and that is up baby!" Hidden Content

if you want a change.. you need to change..
not your fam, husband, presiden or who ever lah Hidden Content

and you need not to only want that change.. but you have to choose it!

A Life lived by choice is a life of conscious action.. A life lived my chance is a life of unconscious reaction.

I chose my change.. took actions and commit to it.. I focus on the path..
no excuses.. no blaming others or sikon.. no self-pity, doubt or victim mentality.. no fear, just faith.

the magic words is not: "I want ..."
it is: "I AM"

that's the key to unlock our power and the support of the universe.. try it.
all you unhappy ppl, what do you have to lose? Hidden Content

and you'll see that God is generous.. and that He wants nothing from you thn what yourself will it to be and to happen.
ask and you shall receive.. seek and you shall find.. knock and it shall be opened.

happy beautiful ppl Hidden Content

[bebechan]

@Hidden Content
Makaaasih selalu muncul di female daily🙏🙏😁
Dari semua cerita mak mak disini aku selalu ambil hikmah... Alhamdulilah all is well..😁
Solusi sarann dr ssmua mak mak disini bener bener jd guru buat ku yg masih awal membangun rt🙏

Semoga mak mak disini yang lg ada masalah dimudahkan dan di tegarkan dlm mencari solusi dan move ke lebih baik🙏🙏🙏

[silversea]

Halo semua...
Kalo ada yang masih inget, gua dulu pernah cerita disini soal suami gua. Beberapa bulan lalu kita pernah berantem gede gara2 dia hina2 gua & keluarga gua. Sampe gua minggat dl ke rumah ortu. Tapi, akhirnya dia minta maaf dan janji ga akan kaya gitu lagi. Akhirnya gua luluh & balik lagi ke dia. Nah, tapi sekarang dia kaya gitu lagi. Dia hina2 gua & keluarganya juga kompor abis. Pernah gua pulang agak telat, gara2 banyak kerjaan di kantor. PIL udah nungguin gua depan pintu & nanyain ko malem2 banget pulangnya. Terus gua bilang, iya lagi banyak kerjaan. Eh, dia malah sambil senyum2 nyindir gitu bilang, kerja apa sih sampe malem2 gini, ko aneh. Tuh suami kamu udah pulang daritadi. Terus besok2nya, nanyain ke suami, gua kerja apaan sampe malem gitu.
Belum lagi misua, kalo liat gua bawaannya nyinyir terus. Ribut gede sih ga. Tapi omongannya itu suka nyakitin. Kaya gua tuh ga ada harganya lagi. Selalu bilang gua bodo, gendut, ga bisa apa2. Btw, gua kan udah lama ga ketemu ibu & adik gua. Gua minta ijin, buat pergi maen sama mereka. Eh, dia malah ngomong. Ngapain maen sama mereka. Pasti mau ditraktir sama kamu. Ya gua bilang aja, kalo mau ditraktir pun kenapa emangnya. Itu ortu & sodara gua sendiri. Dan gua udah berpenghasilan. Terus dia bilang lagi, pasti mereka mau abisin uang kamu. Gua bilang aja, ga tuh. Adik gua juga sekarang udah punya penghasilan sendiri, jadi asdos. Nah, dia kaya yang ga suka. Langsung bilang, kampus adik gua jeleklah (padahal salah 1 kampus terbaik di indo), terus dia juga cerita pernah ditawarin jadi asdos, tapi dia tolak. Buang2 waktu soalnya. Gua bilang aja, ya tapi kan bersyukur aja, adik gua jadi punya penghasilan tambahan. Nah, ujung2nya dia malah hina gua. Katanya iya adik gua pinter, ga kaya gua bodo. Gua bilang aja, emang kenyataannya adik gua lebih pinter dari gua. Terus gua balikin aja, kamu juga dibanding sodara2 kamu paling ga pinter. Terus dia bilang, oh iya emang sodara dia pinter2 + kaya2. Makanya kamu harus tau, level kamu tuh dimana. Ga ada apa2nya sama sekali. Maksudnya ngomong gini apa coba...

[Oki_doki]

Mak @Hidden Content sekali lagi makasih ya buat saran2 nya... Walau cuma baca disini, rasanya udh ngajarin gw untuk jadi perempuan tangguh, gw tau butuh proses untuk kearah sana, krn emg gw memble bgt kalo masalah begini.

Gw udh coba untuk persiapkan hati kalo nanti mngkn keluarga besar kami (kel dia or kel gw sendiri) bilang kalo di "kepercayaan" gw gak boleh cerai lah inilah itulah, biar ajalah, dosanya gw yg tanggung kok, yg ngejalanin gw, cuma dari kel besar dia pasti bakal ribut gede krn emang FIL n MIL nya tipe keluarga yg jaga reputasi bgt, kelihatan dari luar harus bagus, sementara di dalem ya gak bgtu.

Gw sejak dulu emg gak pernah merasa i deserve better
man selain suami gw skrg. Jujur aja gw dibesarkan oleh Ibu yg selalu menuntut gw dan kakak2 gw. Nyokap tipe yg gak mau nyekolahin anak2 nya, kalo udh lulus SMA ya udh harus langsung kerja biar kasih duit ke dia, gw sendiri dikuliahin kk pertama gw, dan kk2 gw kuliah pake uang mereka sendiri, krn nyokap gw gak pernah mau terbebani dengan uang kuliah, karena bokap gw meninggal di usia yg relatif masih muda. Setiap kita ada debat sedikit dia langsung tuh mengutuki kita, ibaratnya lo bakal sengsara kalo gak nurut ama kata2 seorang ibu. Kita anak2nya udh kenyang dikutukin. Pun bgtu setiap bulan kita gak pernah absen kasih dia uang Bulanan, dari semua anak2nya. Dan tau gak mak, emak gw itu selalu bilang ke org2, tetangga, sodara2, temen ibadah nya kalo kita semua anak yg buruk, gak pernah kasih uang, dsb. Pdahal Tuhan lah yg tau seberapa tanggung jawab kita ke dia. Jadi kesimpulan nya adalah citra diri gw Dan kk gw udh rusak lah karena itu, dan lingkungan kami tau nya adalah kami itu anak yg sangat buruk sekali perilakunya. Gak masuk akal, tapi bgtulah kenyataan yg ada. Emak gw Jago bgt compare kita sama anak lain, entah kenapa. Jadi emang kami gak punya sosok ibu, dan jujur gw gk tau manisnya punya ibu sprti apa. Itulah mngkn knp gw memble bgt mak, Tapi setelah saran2 diatas, gw udh mulai sadar kalau hidup gw ya trgantung dari gw sendiri. Udh bukan salah emak gw lagi, tapi emg gw hrs memutuskan apa yg trbaik buat hidup gw, dan gw pisah pun sama suami gw, gw rasa dia gak perduli.

Gw inget waktu dulu gw minta putus sama dia (suami get skrg) dia bilang : ya udh kalo gitu balikin semua uang waktu kita makan bareng, waktu aku kasih kado (dia pernah kasih kado waktu gw ultah) dsb....

Bodohnya gw ya gw langsung mikir darimana ya gw ganti uangnya, karena dulu gaji gw ngepas bgt dan gw kudu ngasih yang Bulanan ke nyokap yg notabene nya lumayan, karena kalo sekali aja gw absen, dia bakal jutekin gw sebulan. Kk gw pernah setahun gak ngomong ama dia hanya krn beda pendapat sedikit dan uang Bulanan kurang.

Jadi emang gw bodohnya keterlaluan sih mak. Makanya gw udh capek lah dgn kondisi ini. Gw mau menjelang masa depan yg baru, yg lebih manis.
Karena buat apa komitmen tanpa perasaan? Apa iya sisa hidup gw, gw habiskan hanya krn komitmen tapi gak ada perasaan?

Gw belum tau reaksi dia sih kalo gw minta pisah, dia tipe playing victim juga mak, dia tau betul kalo gw tipikal gampang kasihan sama org dan dia suka manfaatin itu.

Wish me luck ya mak @Hidden Content
Sekali lagi makasih ya ☺️☺️☺️

[Oki_doki]

Mau nanya nih mak2, mngkin terlalu aneh sih pertanyaan nya, gini :

Kan selama nikah selama hampir 4 tahun, gw belum punya kartu keluarga bahkan belum urus catatan sipil, alias jadi kami tuh nikah hanya di rumah ibadah aja, secara agama dan KTP ya kita berdua masih single, nikah hanya agama aja.
Gw udh minta berkali2 di awal menikah (waktu itu masih "jaman pasrah") untuk urus, or gw aja yg urus asal keperluan administratif nya dari pihak dia, dia mau bantu. Dari administratif pihak gw udh ke 2 or 3x nya (lupa antara itu) minta surat ket RT RW, Kelurahan dsb, dan selalu kadaluarsa karena dia susah kerja sama untuk pembuatan akta nikah/cat sipil, dulu gw udh berbusa2 ngomong ya tapi mngkn dia gak anggap ini sbg suatu yg penting bgt, sampe tahun ke 4 ini akhirnya gw memutuskan untuk pisah.

Yg mau gw tanyaa apakah gw ada urusan administratif lain menyangkut dokumen dsb? Karena KK kita berdua pun masih KK org tua. Di KTP masing2 pun masih "belum kawin".

Trimakasih mak2 semua.

[olivivia3]

Hai bu @Hidden Content
So we are back to the same pattern ya, keluarga dia yang suka nyinyir dan remehin lo, termasuk dia juga yang ga berhenti2nya nyinyirin dan ngerendahin lo Hidden Content
Dulu bayarin STNK dia, dia juga minta dibeliin PS oleh lo, tapi tetep direndahin.
Sekarang mau keluar ama nyokap dan adek sendiri aja malah dia yang nyinyir, kayak dia ga minta dibayarin ini itu aja haha Hidden Content
But anyway, kalo gue baca lo juga kayaknya "seneng" ngeladenin dia.

ibarat kata, dia ngeludah, lo ludahin balik, ujung-ujungnya saling ludah-ludahan aja Hidden Content

Tapi sebenernya apa yang dia lakukan dan omongin ke lo mestinya lo ga heran juga kan, bukannya memang dari dulu udah begitu?
Nothing new.
Suka meremehkan, merendahkan, dan nyinyir ke lo, komplit sampe ke keluarganya juga suka begitu ke lo.

Emang pas "baikan" itu gimana mak? Ga membahas masalah yang membuat kalian berantemkah? Bahwa lo sakit hati saat direndahin, dikata-katain, dll. Karena kalo ga tegas membahas masalah dan mencari solusi yang enak buat kedua belah pihak demi mempertahankan rumah tangga ya memang pada akhirnya akan kembali ke siklus yang sama.

Berantemin hal yang sama lagi.

Kalo referring ke postingan lluvia di atas tadi,
Yah... It's your choice to stay.

[Crescent Shadow]

@Hidden Content

cmiiw, tapi kamu mau pisah ya pisah aja, ga ada urusan administratif.
karena di mata negara, kamu ga lebih dari kumpul kebo Hidden Content yes kamu kawin secara agama, tapi itu ga punya significance secara hukum.

[silversea]

@Hidden Content : Gua udah jelasin ke dia, kalo gua ga terima kalo dia suka rendahin gua. Tapi dia janji2 di awal doank ga akan kaya gitu. Tapi ya gitu, kalo lagi badmood, keluar lagi nyinyirnya. Gua juga ngerasa, dia itu orangnya jadi tertutup bgt. Beda sama waktu pdkt/pacaran. Waktu pdkt/pacaran, dia bisa neleponin gua tiap hari. Ada aja yang diceritain. Nah, sesudah nikah, dia jadi tertutup. Gua udah pernah tanya, kenapa ko ga pernah cerita apa2 lagi. Kata dia, ga ada yang perlu diceritain. Gua mau ceritapun, dia gamau dengerin gua.

[SerenaQ]

@Hidden Content ngapain sih elo habisin sisa hidup elo ama laki model begini? dia ada gak sih kasih elo kebahagiaan dalam bentu apapun? at least kalo dia ga bisa tanggung jawab urusan duit, at least dia sayang kek ama elo...lah ini juga kaga. Coba deh, elo pikir baik baik ada gak sisi yang positip dari laki elo? kalo ga ada, kayaknya mending elo mikir lagi deh, mau sampe tua apa elo dihina2? Gila aja, bisa bisa elo jadi gila nanti saking stress tekanan batin gara2 laki model begini..

Sorry ya kalo gw ngomongnya rada sadis, gemes gue ama laki yang cuman bisa nyinyir doang tapi ga punya kelebihan apapun yang bisa dibanggain

[silversea]

@Hidden Content : iya, tapi jujur gua takut. takut kalo nanti cerai, siapa yang bisa nafkahin gua, kalo jelek2nya kerjaan gua ga diperpanjang. belum lagi denger omongan orang2. apalagi sifat suami gua yang kaya gitu. kemaren aja pas gua minggat / minta putus pas pacaran, dia sampe nangis2 di depan keluarga besar gua. belum lagi ngancem mau bunuh diri. kan gua jadi stres sendiri bayanginnya.

[lluvia]

Hidden Content
makasih udah baca tulisan gw Hidden Content

iya nih masih betah di FD.. dimana lg gw bisa nulis berjilid2 Hidden Content
ahh I'm just trying to do my part.. to pay it forward and give back for all the wonderful blessing I have received.

all I want to do is to empower us women.. that we do have a choice.
I'm tired of seeing women only given advice tuk "sabar" .. and that we should just accept that suffering and sacrifice are part of our fate/role as woman/wife.

there is so much misery going on in this world.. and many of us have our own personal drama at home..
and it made me think, why? why is that so?

especially for women (in this country).. we have so many intelligent and capable women..
but when it comes to love or marriage, many seems to forget their own power.

ampe ada pepatah: "Wanita selalu dijajah pria."
and I dont agree with it.. it's a weak excuse blaming the men..
kita bisa dijajah krn we allowed it.. krn kita "rela" dijajah.

sprt belanda dulu berhasil ratusan tahun menguasai kepulauan kita bukan krn belanda negara besar loh ya..
I know, I've lived there.. di belanda gada apa2nya Hidden Content

Indonesia berhasil menjadi Indonesia krn kita bersatu and we decided to fight!
kasarnya we changed from being slaves into warriors.. pdhl the ppl didnt change (physicaly), but their THINKING did.

itu adalah bukti that the difference in winning or losing adalah mentality & attitude kita sndri..
it's all in our head.. what we choose to believe and put our faith in.

btw I'm not hating men here loh ya.. it's not women vs men.. my husband is my fav person Hidden Content
again, most of the time the enemy is not others.. it's us that limit ourself.

all we need to start is punya kesadaran itu.. stop giving our power away under the excuse of being a good woman, daughter, wife or mother.
we can still be all that without having to sacrifice our own happiness, individuality and freedom.

we all have more power thn we think.. we all have a voice.. we have brains and hearts bigger thn the universe.. use it.

aniwei.. I wish you well.. all the best and love this life has to offer.. and dont forget to enjoy life!
every aspect of it.. the mundane and the extraordinary.. the small and the big.. the ups and down..

ppl who know how to enjoy their time on earth usually dont have room for drama or BS.
they realize how valuable their time are and that every moments is an opportunity.. so they are grateful and humble.. and they want to make the best of it.
this are the ppl that are actually living, instead of just surviving.. and living is the key for life.

if we enjoy life, we'll be a happy person.. and the best we can do for ourself and for others, is to be a happy person..
they love life, them self and others.. and that love will be return a thousand-fold.. we all get what we give.

so enjoy your marriage.. enjoy your husband.. enjoy each other..
enjoy the story that you guys are now creating together..

and be excited.. now is your chance now to be the person, wife, mother etc you wanna be.. your time to shine! Hidden Content