Thread: Single Mother
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Jun 15, 2008, 02:40 AM #16
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
Yunita, gw salut buat loe!
Cuma orang dengan mentality baja yang bisa ngaku di forum blak2an kayak begini.
Gw sama sekali gak ada masalah sama perempuan yang punya anak di luar nikah. Menurut gw itu hak pribadi manusia. Selama yang jalanin bertanggung jawab sama pilihan itu dan ngejalanin dengan sepenuh hati.
Aborsi karena hamil di luar nikah..? Gw rasa gw gak akan melakukan itu.
Tapi gw sama sekali gak menentang aborsi. Itu juga hak seorang perempuan. Maaf yah teman2.. gw jangan dimarahin karena ngomong begini.. itu cuma pendapat dari pola pikir gw aja.
Being pregnant is truly a pride. I think.. that's what made woman divine.. because we can choose to send a new life or not.
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Jun 15, 2008, 03:00 AM #17
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
Dear Yunita,
daku ngga pernah baca thread-mu di forum sebelah. tapi cukup membaca your first thread here I understood you deeply. truly. and you have all my sympathy.. especially seeing the circumtances where you're livin' right now, I do understand your worries... *hugs*
Never been in your situation, but believe me, if happened to me, I'd do exactly what you're doin' now, keeping the baby!!! Alive!!! I hope in the future, you'd be proud of your choice when you look into you baby's eyes.
It's good that you've seen the situation as; the baby is your blessed. YOUR very own blessed from God. and you should stick to it.
I do not know your real situation of your relationship with that man, but, I believe, a Gentleman which mean a Real Man, would never ask you to give up on the your baby, even if he couldn't marry you for some reasons, if he is a responsible man, he'd keep the baby as you do. as for the rest, you both will talk about it... (oh well, I do not want to judge a man whom I didn't even know anyway)
What bothers me, being a single parents, or decided to keep a baby born outside of bond of marriage in some countries is condeemed as a ''sin'' or whatever entitled in negative way. Who are we??? We are not even Moses not even God to judge what's one wanted to do in their lives. Honestly, I am a single woman and til now I haven't found a right man whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but it doesn't denied my maternal needs, to have my own baby. And you know dear Yuni, what I planning to if in the next x year I stil can't find my Adam, I'd go to Sperm bank and made an artificial conception from a sperm I Chosen for my future baby.
NO ONE and NOTHING could forbid a person, man or woman from their paternal/maternal calling. Being a mother/father or both is a Great Responsability in life. Unfortunately, nowadays, the person began to has lack of this responsabilities. Mostly, because they're afraid for the consequences, in the future. You know, life is get tough and tougher everyday. But I tell you, you're one of a kind, my girl!!! I wanted you to know, I', the one out there who at the moment pray for you and your baby for all your best.
God bless you, sis! *big hugs*
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Jun 15, 2008, 04:26 AM #18
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
yunita, walopun ngga ada suami, mudah2an ada keluarga terdekat yang mendukung elo. soalnya, biar bagaimanapun, no matter how strong we are, tetep butuh dukungan dari orang2 terdekat.
nanti ketika bayi baru lahir, akan banyak hal baru yang harus elo pahami. mulai dari masalah kesehatan, masalah perkembangan, finansial, dll.
kalau sekarang masih ada yang belum mendukung, at least cari lagi orang lain yang bisa mendukung. sahabat, kerabat..
tret ini bagus kok, jadi every single parent bisa sharing di sini.
btw, gue punya link bagus untuk dibaca: Hidden Content
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Jun 15, 2008, 05:20 AM #19
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
good luck ya... salut!
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Jun 15, 2008, 05:33 AM #20
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
gutlak ya yun, yours is a good decision (to keep the baby).. semoga jalannya dimudahkan.
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Jun 15, 2008, 05:38 AM #21
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
I know many of and am surrounded by single parents in life. so to me, it's quite normal... Hidden Content and of course i have nothing against them. having seen them raising the kids sometimes makes me wonder and think that despite of the burden that you must carry alone (without partner), the whole experience will actually make you stronger as a woman. not to mention the strong bond that you'll be getting from your relationship with your own child, as he or she will become the reason for you to live, be strong and continue your life.
again... surrounded by single parents and seeing how they raise the kids makes me wonder, the decision to continue the pregnancy without even marrying the father of the child sometimes would worked better for your life and the children's instead of insisting a marriage with someone who doesn't even care about you... for the sake of 'saving your face' from the judgmental society. to me... this would be more painful to do. coz you know... how this marriage would end up. and i believe this would cost more problems for you and your children as well. not good...
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Jun 15, 2008, 05:59 AM #22
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
menurut gw, whether a woman decides to abort or to keep the baby is entirely up to her. it's her body and she has the right to decide what she wants and what she thinks to be the best for her.
I'm not mainstream here, I guess Hidden Content
Yuni, good luck!
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Jun 15, 2008, 07:14 AM #23
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
Yunita, you're very brave! Hidden Content
Anyway, there's not much hotline service for counseling such matters here in Jakarta/Indonesia. Maybe by opening this thread or join the single parents mailing list like you did will support you greatly.
Wishing you the best!
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Jun 15, 2008, 10:08 AM #24
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
Yunita, salut ama keberanian km!!!
Keputusan km utk ttp melanjutkan kehamilan memang bukan hal yg gampang.
Tp tp yakinlah pasti semua ada hikmahnya...
Semoga dilancarkan persalinannya ya...Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. ~ William Jennings Bryan
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Jun 15, 2008, 10:15 AM #25
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
Yunita, I am speechless now. You're such a strong woman and your kid will be very proud of you. Really.
Good Luck ya! and nanti moga2 dia bisa jadi anak yg berbakti and pinter juga..Hidden Content
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Jun 15, 2008, 10:41 AM #26
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
yunita hats off to you!! very brave you are indeed. gue yakin banget jadi single parent itu pasti akan susah banget.. yang lengkap aja suka masih susah jadi parent, apalagi cuma single... makanya salut banget sama kamu!! mudah2an nanti kamu jalannya dimudahkan yaa..
one thought in mind though.. kalo hamil diluar nikah gitu, mendingan tetep menikah meskipun belom si cowo bukan husband material (or even a parent material) ato bikin decision jadi single parent aja?? (tapi kalo si cowok ga mau bertanggung jawab ya beda cerita yaa?? secara itu mah emang dipaksa untuk jadi single parent lah.
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Jun 15, 2008, 01:08 PM #27
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
Yun, keputusan yang tepat. Percayalah Tuhan ga akan membiarkan kamu sendirian sekalipun kamu sudah melakukan kesalahan. Di sekolah anak gw banyak banget yang single parent (terlepas dari apapun sebabnya), justru gw melihat mereka adalah perempuan yang tanggung, bisa jadi ibu sekaligus ayah buat anaknya, dan anak mereka baik-baik dan pinter-pinter koq. Jadi jangan berkecil hati apalagi putus asa ya. Kamu pasti bisa menjalaninya. God bless you.
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Jun 15, 2008, 03:15 PM #28
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
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Jun 15, 2008, 05:53 PM #29
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
Gw setuju bgt ma Loucee, mendingan jg gak kawin dan jadi single parent daripad maksa co yg tidak berniat utk ngawinin kita. Soalnya, udah susah ngurus anak ditambah beban/problem dengan tuh co. Gw ada tuh temen kayak gitu, malah beban perasaan.
Good luck, Yunita, gw bener2 salut ma elo. Pikirkanlah positive side-nya, mulai sekrg hidup elo punya tujuan yg sangat mulia utk membesarkan anak ini dan elo gak sendiri lagi, elo punya anak ini yg menjadi buat hati elo dan membuat hidup elo lebih berarti.
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Jun 15, 2008, 06:15 PM #30
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Re: Single Parent / Hamil di luar nikah
Yun, kudos to you, for the courage to do the right thing, and for the courage to share your situation with others. iya, meskipun ayah bayi ngga ada, gue doain lo banyak orang deket yg support elo ya!
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